Dubai, United Arab Emirates (CNN) — Did someone cut you off while you were driving to work? Has your manager disqualified you from promoting co-workers lately?
At the very least, most of us face a situation that makes us get angry, and some of us may resort to revealing our problems to someone else, in order to alleviate their suffering. However, Brad Bushman, a professor of communications at Ohio State University in Columbus, doesn’t think that’s necessarily the best path to addressing this situation, telling CNN, “Instead of talking about it or keeping it to yourself, the best approach to the topic is to mitigate it.” feelings”.
Why do I feel so angry?
Bushman defined anger as an emotional response to a feeling of “real, imagined, or provoked threat,” adding that it can range from mild distress to intense anger.
While this condition is not treated appropriately, it can cause health problems, such as cardiovascular disease.
Assistant Dean and Professor of Psychology at the American University of Wisconsin-Green Bay, Ryan Martin, explained that the feelings that provoke our anger, may elicit the response of the human fight-and-flight system, muscle spasms, heart rate increases, and the work of the digestive system slows down, during your preparation for confrontation. .
In order to be able to deal with daily challenges, there are more useful coping mechanisms that experts share with us by giving us some of the most effective strategies for managing anger:
When nervous…take a deep breath
Bushman said that anger causes an increase in physiological arousal in humans, such as an increase in heart rate and blood pressure.
To alleviate this, it is recommended to take a deep breath and count to 10. Over time, the level of anger decreases. The longer the counting process, the more relaxed the body.
When feeling angry, Bushman resorts to meditation and yoga to relax, pointing to other relaxing activities such as listening to soft music and taking a shower.
Telling others why you are angry is not a solution
“Capturing” is the common way of revealing the feelings of anger that one experiences through close knowledge of the causes of this anger. However, this keeps arousal levels high because talking about these causes takes up a priority area of his mind, according to Bushman.
“When we share our feelings with friends, they will only believe what we say,” Bushman explained, noting that this feeds our feelings of anger rather than giving us a feeling of comfort.
The solutions are at your fingertips
Martin spoke of the feelings of anger that overwhelm us when faced with any problem, such as something that interferes with achieving our goals, or not treating us with respect, advising to use the energy resulting from the hit and run response to direct it to solve the problem that caused these feelings.
In this regard, singer Joan Jett said that she faced many situations in her career that provoked great anger inside her, such as one of the spectators spit on her, while she was on stage. This prompted her to write songs like “Bad reputation” as a way to get rid of that feeling.
“If you don’t direct your anger to produce positive things, you will burn from the inside and drain, with your angry feelings,” she told CNN.
Boxing and running… the worst solutions
Martin said the worst common approach to dealing with anger is boxing or breaking things.
He explained that it is an inappropriate style of self-expression, as it is associated with long-standing problems with how to manage anger. This behavior will reinforce one’s tendency to resort to it whenever he faces what may provoke his anger, in the future.
In this context, Bushman pointed out that the administration of a prison asked him if prisoners can be allowed to vent their anger through the practice of hitting the punching bag, which is a common practice inside prisons. He replied that it was a “terrible” idea and should be discarded.
“Our research has shown that hitting a punching bag increases the likelihood that real people will be hit, and that may include innocent people,” Bushman said, adding that physical exercise such as running, which gets your heart pumping, is also a bad idea. As your heart beats faster, your anger keeps rising, which is the opposite of what you need to do in order to control your emotions.
It’s hard to feel two emotions at the same time, Buschman noted, so channel your energy into positive emotions to get rid of anger.
He said that the production of feelings of love results from hugging the ones you love or cuddling your pet. The funny situations are derived from reading or watching comic films. To allow empathy, you have to support someone who needs help.
Do not suppress your anger
Sometimes it seems that the easiest option is to suppress anger, but it is not an effective method, said Dr. David Rosemarn, assistant professor at Harvard Medical School and a research psychologist at McLean Hospital in Belmont, in the US state of Massachusetts. And sustainable, he added, adding that ignoring anger for long, only increases its intensity in the long run, and cautioning that the option to move forward is not fruitful because it does not address the factors that irritated one in the first place.
Rosemarin felt that some people would go so far as to cut ties with whoever irritates them, emphasizing: “Yes, this may remove negative feelings associated with anger in the short term, but, realistically, people will upset us from time to time, and we need to learn how to deal with this. matter.”